July232023

lordansketil:

empirearchives:

diagnosed-anxiety-disorder:

empirearchives:

clove-pinks:

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Sorry I wasn’t listening to you, I was thinking about the Duke of Wellington’s personal 11-foot-tall statue of nude, totally jacked Napoleon.

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Twitter thread! (and yes Kate Beaton’s “Nemesis” comic comes up)

Oh my goooodddd, im crying at Napoleon basically hiding it in embarrassment only for it to be put on display in the main room of his enemy

Napoleon: … nice statue imma just *throws it into the basement*

Duke of Wellington breaking into Napoleon’s house: OH BOY LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND–

What I wanna know is why Wellington put that statue there. Like was it some kind of power play to show off how he vanquished Napoleon, or did he just think it was a really nice statue?

Every time someone brings this up, I have to be the one to tell them that the statue was a gift to Wellington from the Prince Regent, and it wasn’t looted. The British government paid around £3000 for a giant naked statue of Napoleon. Wellington had to put it somewhere people would be able to see it, or he’d offend the Prince. Love that for him.

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM

spunchthegoblin:

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kiwi b ird held so gen tle and sweet . wonderful .

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM

memecucker:

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the ways different languages translate the “Biggus Dickus” scene from The Life of Brian is quite good

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM

penandinkprincess:

rockitcat:

penandinkprincess:

it obviously makes sense, but one of my friend’s kids is going into swim class, and all the parents got an email today going, “when little ones are scared, they cling on to instructors. PLEASE trim their nails.” 

i don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but just. the idea of this poor, scratched swim instructor having to make sure to email before each class as a reminder to please declaw the children SENT me. 

When I taught swim lessons I remember trying to delicately ask parents not to cover their child in shea/coconut/olive oil before lessons.

“I understand your skincare regimen and wanting to protect their tender baby flesh from the pool chemicals, but COULD YOU NOT OIL YOUR CHILD LIKE A GREASED PIG before tossing them in the POOL? Thanks EVER so much!”

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@nakimochiku i CACKLED

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM

gatabella:

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Ava Gardner in London, 1953

“Many years later, however, I was passing through London’s Heathrow Airport when a girl at the airline desk smiled, asked for my autograph, and said, "Miss Gardner, do you remember how you tried to make that guardsman on sentry duty smile?”
“Of course I do,” I said. “And I’m still ashamed of it.”
“That was my grandfather–” she began.
“Well, apologize to him for me, will you?” I cut in. “It was the silliest thing I’ve ever done.”
Then I saw that she was laughing.
“Apologize - why? Miss Gardner, that was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him, and he’s boasted about it ever since. He’ll go on telling that story down at the pub until the day he dies.”
I was pleased about that.“

-Ava Gardner, autobio

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

neofooturism:

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wyd after eating this

After you eat that you sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed rhoncus.

(via mythologicalmango)

8PM
8PM

kingscrown666:

humbug-demartino:

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Arts ‘N Crass” [S2 Ep01]

Fucking LOVED this episode cuz I 100% expected Daria’s mom to side with the principle cuz she’s the adult. It was refreshing to see a parent stand up for their kid instead of blindly siding with the fellow authority figure

(via vaspider)

8PM

20dollarlolita:

There’s a regular at the fabric superstore. She’s at least 80 years old, and she just got back into sewing after giving it up for 40 years. We’ll call her Irma.

I love Irma.

Irma is constantly surprised by the newfangled sewing gadgets our store sells. Today she bought some extra-fine glass-head pins and a magnetic pincushion. As I’m ringing her purchases up, she tells me very seriously, “did you know, if you’re careful, you can sew RIGHT OVER those pins? You don’t need to take them out!”

I told her that I liked that you can’t accidentally melt the head of the glass pins with your iron, and she nodded. “They used to all be like that, but times changed.”

I love old sewing machines and asked what kind of machine she has, and she goes, “Oh, it’s an old Singer Featherweight that my husband bought me when we were first married. It’s probably not worth anything anymore, but the thing sews fine. Have you seen the ones those girls over there–” indicating the sewing machine sub-store in my location “–have? Those things go in every direction and the needle always comes to the top when you stop sewing! Imagine how handy that is!”

I mention that I used to sew on my grandmother’s Featherweight but now there’s a intra-family war about who owns Grandma’s Featherweight and so no one gets to use it. It’s genuinely the best portable straight-stitch machine I’ve ever used.

I warn her to never let anyone tell her that Featherweight isn’t worth something. “I know, I miss my husband and it’s always going to have a place in my heart, just like your grandma’s.”

“I mean, Irma, there’s that, but they’re also worth a really notable amount of money. The Singer Featherweight is really financially valuable. I almost never see them for sale around here for less than about $400, and that’s in bad condition.”

“It’s a good thing my husband’s dead, honey, because if you told him that he managed to buy a sewing machine that’s worth more in 2021 than he bought it for in 1950, well, he’d be so smug that I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate driving home with him.”

(via mythologicalmango)

7PM

psychoticallytrans:

I think one of the most profound forms of love is “I’ll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I’ll try it.”

It’s a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay’s plasticity. It’s a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom’s favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It’s a girlfriend who says “Yes, I’ll go with you” and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It’s a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out “Wait, wait, I know we’re here for the exhibit, but I haven’t been here! Slow down!”

It’s being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.

(via mythologicalmango)

7PM

whetstonefires:

dduane:

universalcaffination:

animentality:

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as a fan i find it sad that the writers were able to predict the future, you know?

THE WRITERS FIND IT SAD TOO.

Believe me.

hey we got throught the 90s in better shape than Star Trek expected

(via mythologicalmango)

6PM
6PM

emi–rose:

epersonae:

inkskinned:

so one of the things that’s so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn’t that bad for me, and you’ll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that’s super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you’re a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you’ve ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what’s wild is that because sometimes it isn’t a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you’ve been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they’d numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn’t actually notice, because you’d thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn’t always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it’s more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there’s no true way to predict how “much” something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn’t mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it’s either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it’s true that it’s far more likely you will experience pain, rather than “just a pinch.” and yet - there’s nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it’s elective, isn’t it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you’ve been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it’s fucked up because the conversation is never just “hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds” - it’s usually something around the lines of “well, it didn’t kill you, did it?”

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have “some” serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you’re told - i didn’t even want you to have this in the first place. we’re told be careful what you wish for. we’re told that it’s our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don’t like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - “i’m not asking you to remove the option, i’m asking you to reconsider the risk.” this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn’t it?

@emi–rose I am tagging you so you can yell about pain management for IUD insertion

Hi. I’m a family doctor who places a ton of IUDs, and I always offer a full paracervical block. (A few patients who have had multiple vaginal births and have had no issues with IUD insertions have declined - I still numb the tenaculum site because holy fuck, I refuse to puncture your cervix without anesthesia.)

The number of people who have told me that they had traumatic expetiences in the past, that they heard that I would take care of them and not hurt them is too fuckin many to count.

I spent the three years of my residency agitating and teaching and now the whole clinic does a block as the standard of care. It’s really fucking easy to do well, and it makes all the difference. The majority of my patients are surprised to hear I’m done with their IUD insertion already - “but that didn’t hurt at all” is the most common reaction I get.

The way it’s just brushed off as if it’s part and parcel of getting an IUD, as if it’s, I dunno, someone choosing to give birth without meds?? Fucking barbaric.

And even the medical literature is filled with evidence that with a paracervical block, IUD insertions don’t hurt. Like, average pain score on a scale of 1-10 less than 1 don’t hurt.

I don’t believe in inflicting unnecessary suffering. Fucks sake.

(via mythologicalmango)

3PM

alex51324:

intfun:

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I like how depending on where your screen cuts off the image you might be like, “Oops, they misspelled ‘mineshaft’ as 'mindshaft.’” And then you keep scrolling and Nope! It is you who were wrong!

(via mythologicalmango)

3PM

batsy-bueller:

agentfrostbite:

ritterdoodles:

brokendreamsandpyramidschemes:

sergle:

ocdnatural:

when dealing with mosquitos do you:

  1. leave them alone and let them hang out around in ur room (normal)
  2. trap them with a cup and a sheet of paper and put them outside (mostly normal)
  3. slap them in the air or on your skin (sure)
  4. hit them while theyre on the wall or a piece of furniture so it leaves a stain (absolutely fucking deranged)

ABSOLUTELY love these tags I respect this person so much

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You can tell OP has never lived in an area infested in mosquitoes, those assholes suck to the highest degree

Plot twist, OP is an alien researcher attempting to gather information and wildly misinterpreting humanity’s reactions

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OP this you?

(via mythologicalmango)

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